June 29, 2016
You have a lot to think about while you are pregnant. I mean A LOT! You’re going through a lot of changes and if this is your first baby then it’s all new, scary and exciting at the same time. Someone mentions hiring a doula for your birth. You may have a few questions or concerns pop into your head. With the first being ‘what’s a doula?’.
The same explanation is given all the time. Continuous, unbiased, physical, emotional and educational support before during and after birth. The teller then can go into great length and detail about what they do and how awesome it is until they turn blue in the face. I know I’ve done it before. Here is the bottom line.
We are on Team You!
You want a waterbirth? No drugs? Some drugs? All the drugs? A scheduled cesarean? An induction? Waiting for labor to start even if that takes a few more weeks?
We support that. We support you! No judgment, ever.
I asked around to see what some common concerns were that women and their families might have when it comes to hiring a doula to support them.
First on the list: Cost. Yes, seeing that number can catch you off guard. But it’s the same as if you were shopping for any other big item you wanted. Did you know Trinity Doula Services works with you on payment plans so that you can have the support you desire fitted into your budget? Don’t be afraid to reach out and talk to us about it. There are also a lot of ways to pay for your doula. Ask friends o family to help pitch in, have a yard sale where all proceeds go towards a doula fund, put it on your baby shower list, give up that trip to Starbuck’s twice a week (don’t hit me!) and save that money you would’ve spent to go towards the doula’s fee. Be creative, it’s always doable!
Second on the list: making the husband/partner/other friends and family feel replaced or left out. This is really common when the role of a doula is not understood. We don’t come in and push people out of the way, I promise. We work to support the family. For everyone be comfortable and happy. But our clients do come first, if they ask that we do more or less, then that is what we do. It’s great to work with friends and family, sometimes they have questions about what is happening and we can be a source of information for them too. Help calm any fears that the mother-in-law may have. The most important thing is that mom and baby are loved and supported and being well taken care of and sometimes that may look like only having one or two people present during labor and birth or having a room full. But this is the parent’s choice to make. It can be hard if you want to be present and mom or dad may not be comfortable with that, it can even make you feel offended if the couple goes on to hire a doula. Doulas are professional birth support. It is nothing personal. It is always them doing what they feel is best for them and their birth. You are still wanted and still very loved.
Third on the list: doulas only support ‘all natural’ births. How can I put this simply? NO. We support ALL BIRTHS. All forms of birth are just that: BIRTH. Are there doulas out there who only want to attend unmedicated births or home births? Sure there are. But I am not one of them. Every pregnancy, labor, mother and baby are different and have different and wants. Trinity Doula Services will never tell you that you are ‘doing it wrong’ or that you made a ‘wrong choice’. That’s not unbiased and nonjudgmental support.
Fourth on the list: not knowing what a doula was. This is hard because you don’t know what you don’t know. Usually you learn something new by reading about it or hearing someone else talk about it. But once you start researching, you’re likely to find all sorts of things and knowledge is power!
Fifth on the list: I only want my husband there, I don’t want a stranger there. Truth time! Unless you are planning a homebirth with a very specific birth team (midwives and her assistants) chances are you are going to meet LOTS of new people when you are in labor. Sure you know your doctor/midwife(or maybe not if the one on call is someone you’ve never seen before) and maybe know one of the nurses. But doctors and nurses change shifts and go home. You could be in labor long enough to go through several shift changes. Your doula doesn’t do that. We don’t go home after X amount of hours. We are there continuously. You may be surprised at exactly how many new faces you will see. Dietary will usually come by 3x a day with some drinks or little things for you, it’s always a different person. You will see at least 2 nurses when you are being admitted, there will be at least 1 or 2 nurses who come at time of delivery that are there for baby. If you receive a epidural then you will meet another doctor and possibly a second one for that too. If you need a cesarean birth then you will meet even MORE nurses and doctors. But you know who you can always turn to and see their calming face? Your doula. Even if just want your doula to support you during labor and then step out for pushing, that’s ok. You just want prenatal support and birth preparation and her not be present during labor ? That’s ok too! Because as long as you are happy and supported that is what we care about.
Trinity Doula Services hopes that this helped to answer some of the questions or concerns you may have in regards to hiring a doula. TDS strives to provide above and beyond support to the families of Southern Illinois.
Have other questions or concerns? Don’t hesitate to contact us!