Archive | April 2016

What about going poop AFTER baby?

I think ALL pregnant women at one point and time during their pregnancy think”What if I poop while I’m pushing the baby out?!”. Chances are you will and that’s totally ok! It’s actually a GOOD thing.¬† If you are pooping, then you are pushing in the most productive way!

But most women aren’t anticipating that first trip to the bathroom AFTER baby is here. Depending on your birth, you may very well encounter some pain and some trouble going number two. If you tore or had an episiotomy and needed stitches or if you’ve had a cesarean birth ,it is likely that you are going to be faced with opposition. You will likely think “Nope, I am never pooping again. Don’t care if I gain 10lbs, NOT going to happen. It hurts just thinking about it!”

There are ways to help make that first time (or several times) easier for you.

  1. Stay hydrated. Add some fresh fruit juices to your daily fluid intake and avoid caffeinated drinks.
  2. Don’t be afraid to ask for some stool softeners, they can be your saving grace. Chances are if you are on pain medication you will be given softeners anyways.
  3. Don’t hold it in, if you feel like you need to go. GO! The longer you wait the harder it will be.
  4. Just like you relaxed during labor to help your muscles open up for baby, you need to do that on the toilet too.
  5. Use a small step stool or get a squatty potty. It can make a huge difference just lifting up your feet a few inches.
  6. If all else fails, don’t be afraid to resort to a suppository or even an enema. You WANT to be able to go. You will feel so much better afterwards!

Trinity Doula Services….Talking to you about things no one else will!

“When you prepare for everything, you can handle anything!” – Sarah Fogle/Owner

Things to say and not say to an expecting mom.

For some reason it seems that when you announce your pregnancy to the world everyone and their cousin/neighbor/teacher/pet llama have some ‘advice’ they think you NEED to know. Most expecting moms just stand there and listen to the person say their peace and then go on. It’s kind of rude to not listen right? Wrong. You don’t have to listen to anything you don’t want to hear. But it can be hard to nicely tell someone to shut up. Maybe if they knew what to say or not say instead, we would have more inviting conversations between neighbors. Here’s a few things you should say to an expecting mom…and what you shouldn’t say, ever, at any cost.

Things to say:

“How are you feeling today?” – You need to then actually listen and care about what she says.

“You look radiant! You are just glowing!” – Chances are she’s feeling less than radiant or glowing some days, remind her she is beautiful and that she is doing a great job.

“Do you need me to do anything for you? To help with anything around the house maybe?” – Growing another human being is hard work. There are going to be days she wants to say screw it and set the laundry on fire instead of washing it, especially if she has other children.

“Do you want to talk about anything?” – Sometimes she may want to vent, about her feet swelling, not being to sleep well, having to pee every 5 minutes. Just listen to her. It could make her day so much better being able to vent and get that out.

Notice how none of these things include making comments about her belly size….TAKE NOTE OF THIS.

 

Things to NOT say:

“Are you sure there’s not twins in there!?” – Do you want to be told you look fatter than the day before? No.

“Well my friend had your OB and her and the baby almost died!” – Stop it, right now. Expecting Mom is an adult and can make her own choices for who she wants to be her care provider. Only give her your opinion if she asks for it.

“My labor was soooo long and hard and then I tore soooo bad!” – Quit with the horror stories! Your birth story is not hers. She is probably already nervous and anxious about labor & birth, she doesn’t need you to add to that. Share positive stories or none at all.

“What do you mean you don’t want an epidural?! You say that now, but you’ll cave!” – Don’t undermine someone’s plan. You don’t know their pain tolerance level, or their preparations for achieving an epidural free birth. If they do decide on an epidural anyways it’s not your place to say ‘I told you so’ or give them any grief over it either.

“Just get a cesarean, it’s so much easier.” or “Don’t have a cesarean, because that was hell.” – Again, stay out of it. It is not your business. If your opinion was wanted, you would be asked for it. If a mom decides a cesarean is for her then support that. If she ends up with an unplanned cesarean then make sure to be even more sensitive to her feelings and do what you can to help, not hurt.

 

Trinity Doula Services supports all types of births without bias or judgement. Contact us today to see about getting the Doula care you desire.

It’s Cesarean Awareness Month and I want to talk about my cesarean.

I had my first (and luckily only) cesarean in March of 2009. My daughter is now 7. Time sure has flown since then. I always told myself she was born the way she was supposed to have been, that obviously I cannot change the past. But, it didn’t help me feel any better about her birth. I had to dig deeper within myself to figure out exactly what it was I was feeling. During my doula training I had to write an essay about a time that had been difficult for me, so I chose my cesarean birth.

My pregnancy was filled with stress and some slight complications, a diagnosis of an irritable uterus and steroid shots at 27 or so weeks. I ended up on modified bed rest until about 34/35 weeks. At 36 weeks and 3 days I started having contractions and thought “This is it! It’s ok if she comes now!”. Then the midwife comes in to check and says ‘I don’t think this is a head down here’. If looks could kill I probably would’ve set her on fire with the face I was making at that point. I was having good early labor contractions but since it was still considered early-term they thought it best to give me medication to stop my contractions and give my baby time to flip back head down. An ultrasound confirmed that she was frank breech with her head on the left side of my ribs. When the midwife was releasing me she gave me a few tips to encourage my daughter to flip. I asked if there was a Dr. who would be on board with a breech vaginal delivery and she said nope and left the room. So that was that, I had no options. Try to get baby to flip on my own or a cesarean. Never was an external version mentioned. I had no idea that was an option either.

So I went home and tried the ice pack on my ribs trick. I did that off and on all weekend. Didn’t do anything. At 36 weeks and 6 days, in the early evening, my contractions started again. Crap, I do not want a cesarean. I had my first daughter vaginally, so I figured I would have this baby the same way. I was in no way,shape or form prepared for a surgical birth. I literally had 3 days to even consider that possibility. Back to the hospital I go, yup, she is still breech. Knew it. They start prepping me for surgery. I was dilating and they wanted to get me back quickly because apparently breech babies can come quicker. I remember hearing one nurse ask if this was considered an emergency section, to which the other replied with ‘it’s not an emergency but we do need to move quickly’. ” So, breech is not an emergency, she’s not in distress and neither am I, good to know.” I thought.

They got me back to the OR pretty quickly, still having pretty good contractions, and there was trouble getting my spinal in. Then it took and they got started. I wasn’t even sure they had begun until I heard ‘uterine incision being made’. That was pretty fast and it isn’t even an emergency. Next came the awful tugging and pulling. My daughter way up in my ribs. It was not easy getting her out. Then there it was, the sound all new parents are waiting for – their baby’s first gasp of air and cry. The absolutely¬†most beautiful sound in the entire world.

They brought her to me to see and touch and kiss then off to the nursery she went. During the last bit of the surgery I started to shake uncontrollably and asked if it was normal to shake this much. That question was answered with ‘here I will give you something for that’. No discussion, no easing my anxiety about what was going on, just here is some meds. By this point I really did not like this anesthesiologist at all. He didn’t even tell me what he put in my IV. They finish up and the nurse (this was her first cesarean) was removing the drapes from my legs and yelled out “Oh my God!”. No one ever wants to hear a medical professional say something like that near them. I couldn’t move or see what was going on so I started to panic. The resident surgeon came up to my head and asked to look at my chest and arms, he at least was courteous enough to ask for consent and tell me what was going on. I was having am allergic reaction to the mystery medicine I was given. My entire body was red and covered in hives. Fortunately it was not an extreme reaction or life threatening, but boy was that one of the most scariest moments of my life. I ended up having to stay in the recovery room for 2 hours (an hour longer than usual) to make sure I didn’t have any more sever reaction and that the hives faded.

Then to the postpartum room I went. I waited and I waited for my daughter to be brought to me. But that never happened. She was having trouble breathing and was on oxygen. They brought me a picture of her. Her blood sugar was low and I couldn’t nurse her so I had to agree to formula. We ended up staying at the hospitsl for 8 days. This was not the birth I had imagined. This was the complete opposite and I had no idea what I was doing or what to do. Looking back I wish so hard I had known what a doula was, this would’ve been the perfect time to have support and have someone to help me. If I had had a doula she could’ve got me information for me try to flip my baby with. She could’ve helped me communicate better with medical staff. A doula could’ve helped me express colostrum and taken it to the nicu so my baby’s first food would’ve been from me. It could’ve been so much better for myself and my baby.

Trinity Doula Services strives to give unconditional support to our clients no matter what the situation. Contact us today to help make your birth the very best it can be.